Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac was a psychic with a large elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which were "hermetically sealed" and had been kept in "a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon" that day. On the way to his desk after arriving on stage Carnac would invariably trip and fall. It was pretty funny…..you had to be there. Here’s a sampling of the jokes:
A: Hickory Dickory Dock.
Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?
A: "Rose Bowl."
Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley?
A: Kumquat.
Q: What do you say when calling your quat?
A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American car industry.
Q: Name three things on the endangered species list.
A: Baja.
Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh?
A: England, France and Greece.
Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Commissary.
A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer.
Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump.
A: Supervisor.
Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes?
“I hold in my hands…the last envelope":
A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah!
B. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!!
1 comment:
Remember when we were in NYC and we were kicking ourselves for deciding not to go to the Late Show when we saw promos that made it look like Johnny Carson was going to be on, but really it was just Letterman doing a Carnac impression? (longest sentence ever)
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